Category Archives: Planning for Adult Life

Help is on The Way

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to take Ethan to “New Jersey Transition to Adulthood Comprehensive Care” or NJTACC. Their websites states that they are:

an interdisciplinary team designed to assist teens and young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities as they face the challenges associated with their transition to adult services and medical care.

Specialty Care Plainsboro Front View

It was music to my ears, but my cynical side kicked right in, telling me to reserve any hope I might have for after the appointment.

I am very pleased to inform you that I am hopeful!

Continue reading Help is on The Way

What’s Working?

Do you need to hear good news? I swear, I’ll try to wrap this up optimistically. Bear with me, won’t you?

First let’s talk about “What’s Not Working?”

Ethan!

That’s right. He is not working.

Continue reading What’s Working?

Transportation Woes

Ethan will never drive a car. Ever again.

Occasionally, you might hear a story of a person with Down syndrome with a drivers license. I am happy for them and their parents, but I feel that when a story like that is publicized, it sends a message to parents and the general population that is faulty. I know that it is meant to be encouraging, but the way I work it out, it’s like telling the parents of a typical newborn, “You know, I heard that some of these kids become US Olympians”. I did the math. Similar results. Even if it is possible for a tiny handful of people, it is not a practical probability for most. If you add in all the other folks with intellectual disabilities and adults with autism, you have a whole lot of people who need rides to get to their destinations.

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The Graduation Party

There is no party like a “Midland” family party. Our kids excel at partying 🙂 They were happy to be together celebrating once again.

It took me only a few minutes to notice that most of the parents were wearing similar expressions as we glanced at one another. I was familiar with it – I see the same expression on my own face. ‘Deer-in-the-headlights’ sums it up. ‘Shell Shock’ works as well. We tried small talk. We tried meatier subjects. Someone suggested we take it outside.

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Limbo

Nope. Not the party game. It’s more like the metophoric ‘we-are-not-in-hell-but-haven’t-made-it-to-heaven-either’.

coloring

After graduation, Ethan left the ‘educational entitlement’ segment of his life. The school district is no longer responsible to provide programming for him. He also has not turned 21 yet, which would place him into the ‘adult services’ component of his life. It’s soon, but not now.

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Precipice

Friday is Graduation Day.

Friday, we veer off of a familiar path that we have come to be able to walk in the dark and in our sleep. One foot in front of the other ~ it has been safe, predictable and controlled. It supported us and Ethan in a way that made our lives hum.

14 years.

That is one well-worn road.

We have puzzle pieces to put together, but we don’t have the picture on the front of the box to work from. We need to invent, create and construct whatever it is that is going to build the minutes into hours, and hours into days, and days into meaning and substance.

FullSizeRender

“Here goes…..
better throw my hand in………
wish me happy landing…….
all I gotta do is…………
JUMP!!!!”  ~ Aladdin

Timeline for 2016 Graduates

I opened my email a few days ago from Ethan’s school. It was a modified date for the last day of school.

THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

Continue reading Timeline for 2016 Graduates